DANIEL: Previously on Ugly Betty...
BETTY: You have a secret husband?
Booze and pills weren't enough.
I'm sick!
If I can't marry into the Meade family, I will give birth to an heir.
We need to find a surrogate we can control.
Someone who's desperate for money.
I'm the Editor-in-Chief of Mode, and this office is now a nursery.
But I'm your father, you are my son, and we're in this together.
You're telling me that you're married?
I just wanted you to know, because I feel like I'm falling for you.
DANIEL: Betty. Hey. Welcome to our new home.
I really wanna take on more responsibility.
I just... I thought that that was gonna be at Mode.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
(BOD Y PLAYING)
Daniel, when I said that Player magazine
should show women in a more professional light,
this isn't exactly what I had in mind.
Betty, that's your concept, "America's Hottest Lawyers."
I pitched "America's Top Female Attorneys."
Look, I know this is Player magazine,
but does every spread have to be women in skimpy bras?
Know what? You're right. I hadn't thought of that.
- Let's lose those bras, please! - ASSISTANT: Lose them.
No, that's not what I meant!
That's not what I meant.
What are you working on?
Nothing. Just doodling, you know.
- Is that Mode? - No, it's just...
It's just a mockup for Wilhelmina's first issue. I don't know.
I knew it, Daniel. Part of you wants to be back at Mode.
No, look, I just want to see what Wilhelmina's up to.
You know exactly what she's up to,
firing, scheming, looking for a puppy to kick.
Well, then I'm happy to be away from it.
See? Happy!
It's Daniel's copy of the mockup.
Crap. I forgot we still send it to him. I'll make sure we take him off the list.
Nope, that's not why I'm here.
You see, Alexis, there are a lot of notes in here, and they're good.
I'm sure he has a lot of notes.
It's Wilhelmina's first issue, and he hates Wilhelmina.
No. See, these aren't the notes of somebody
who wants to get to Wilhelmina.
"Cover is too obscure." "Will it sell?" "Pull up key ads."
"Where is 'Mode Girl on Madison'?"
Alexis, he cares about this magazine. He misses Mode.
I mean, he won't admit it, but he belongs here.
I appreciate your loyalty to your boss, Betty,
but Daniel doesn't work at Mode anymore.
Okay. Well, thanks for your time.
- COACH: What's wrong? - Nothing.
What's more romantic than lunch on foot with a view of Rikers Island?
Okay.
You know, you deserve better than week-old lamb.
- Yeah. - How about
a real date?
Really?
Yeah, Jill got called for a layover flight leaving Wednesday morning.
I'm thinking maybe Wednesday night we could do something special.
Whoa. Hey, what happened to the smile?
No, nothing, I just...
I try to forget that you have a wife, but you have a wife.
And I told you how things stand.
Coach, everything that you said to me about us having a future together,
just be honest with me. Is that for real?
I promise, you're not the other woman. You're the only woman.
But if you take this shot and put it right here,
it draws your eye right to the ad.
Alexis, we go to print tonight. My launch party's in two days.
There's time.
And what about this cover?
Angelina Jolie in a block of ice?
I mean, do you have a shot that's a little less arty?
Or at least one where you can see who it is?
Wait a minute. Those aren't your notes.
(EX CLAIMS)
The rounded "O's" of a stunted adolescent,
the stiff "T's" of someone who's clearly overcompensating.
This is Daniel's handwriting.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Yes, these are Daniel's notes, and I happen to agree with them.
Why is he even giving you notes?
He isn't. Betty found them and brought them to me.
Now why don't you put your ego aside for a second
and just admit that your issue needs help?
I mean, where's our "Mode Girl on Madison" feature?
Who cares what the average woman wears on the street?
We shouldn't be taking their pictures.
We should be throwing rocks at them.
I think our readers like it.
Our readers like what I tell them to like.
Look, we agreed that Mode needed a kick in the ass.
I'm giving it a kick in the ass.
I never tire of you saying that.
Just take a look at Daniel's notes.
Of course.
Well, she...
- I see someone's gonna be a problem. - Daniel?
Daniel is an overripe cantaloupe, tumbling toward irrelevance.
I'm talking about Betty.
She's trying to get Daniel back in here. She's the problem.
Okay, lunch.
No burrito for you!
- Marc, why did you do that? - You have a lunch date.
- With you? - No. With Wilhelmina.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Look at us, two women of color out for a fancy lunch on the town.
Isn't this fun, girlfriend?
(CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY)
I guess.
And that blouse is heaven. Where did you get it? I love it.
Okay, no, you don't.
No, I don't. It's hideous, like driving through Ohio.
Look, let's cut to the chase, Betty.
- I need you. - What?
You kept Daniel's files. Marc can't make heads or tails of them.
Um...
Okay, yeah, fine.
I'll ask Daniel for a little bit of time to come and work on them.
Or you could recognize a career opportunity when you see one.
Betty, you were the assistant to the Editor-in-Chief at Mode before.
I think it's time you returned to where you belong.
- Are you offering me a job? - At Mode. Working for me.
Look, Wilhelmina, I'm not leaving Daniel.
And to be frank,
I don't really trust you.
Loyalty and suspicion, two very admirable qualities.
(SIGHS)
Betty, you belong at Mode, and I think Daniel would understand.
Well, I think Daniel will say that you want to hire me
to ask me to do very bad, bad things.
I would never ask you to do anything wrong, ugly or morally suspect.
That's what I have Marc for, dear.
Don't answer now, but don't throw your future away at Player.
- She offered you a raise, too? - A little one, yeah.
Every bit helps when you have a new apartment.
Dad, I am not going to sell out Daniel to pay my rent.
You're not selling anyone out when you're making a good career move.
Aunt Betty, you have to go back to Mode! Player gets me nothing!
It's like I'm stuck in a sand trap at the bottom of the ninth quarter.
Listen to me, I'm already changing!
That reminds me, Tony wanted to know
if he could have one of those signed Player covers
with all the star athletes for the school auction.
Sure, yeah, Hilda. I'll just ask Daniel,
right after I tell him that his mortal enemy
offered me a better job with more pay!
Opportunities are coming your way. This is something to be proud of.
I don't think that's how Daniel's gonna see it, Dad.
I feel like I was cheating just talking to Wilhelmina.
You're not cheating! It's not cheating to explore other options
because your situation is at a dead end!
I just... I care about you. That's all.
Well, one thing is for sure, I have to go in there first thing in the morning
and tell Daniel that I spoke to Wilhelmina,
because secrets in that place have a way of going bad.
Someone's working late.
Yeah, just came by to pick up a little homework.
Yeah, lucky I ran into you.
I want to make sure you're coming to my launch party.
- (SCOFFS) Well, I hadn't... - Wonderful.
You know, I'm so glad we're talking.
I know it seems like I'm trying to poach your assistant.
Excuse me?
Betty did tell you we spoke about her coming to work for me, didn't she?
I mean, I know you two have no secrets.
Uh...
Yeah.
Good. It's all out in the open, then.
Of course it's out in the open.
I mean, everything's out in the open between me and Betty.
- How could you hide this from me? - I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
God, just the thought of it!
You sitting at her desk, rolling calls for her?
Daniel, I don't want to leave you!
Then why are you going behind my back?
- It wasn't like that! - Okay, well, tell me what happened.
Please. You met with her.
She offered you a job, and you didn't say no.
Daniel, working at Player magazine isn't exactly my dream job!
I'm not happy here.
I am.
Are you?
Just stop. Right now.
I'm not leaving.
Do you understand? This is what I want.
Well, maybe it's not what I want.
Look, you want to go work for Wilhelmina, be my guest.
Daniel, can we please just talk about this reasonably?
I am being utterly reasonable! If you hate it here,
if you think you'll be so much happier working for Wilhelmina, go!
- Is that what you want me to do? - Is that what you want to do?
Wilhelmina, does the offer still stand?
Daniel's like a different person since he's been at Player.
All of the fight and ambition is out of him.
You can't make people change, Betty.
At some point, you've gotta look out for yourself.
I know. You're right, but I'm working for Wilhelmina.
I know. The Wicked Witch of the East Side.
- But you're a smart girl. - I am,
and I know exactly what she's capable of,
so I'll just keep my eyes open at all times.
Truth be told, I'm glad you're back.
(SCOFFING)
Christina must have a donut in her pocket.
Betty Suarez, under my rule. How I have longed for this day.
Marc, we don't want her to quit.
We just want her to stay away from Daniel for a while.
Just keep her busy.
Betty Suarez! Our newest employee!
- Marc. - Complimentary mimosa?
- Really? - No.
But if you get the filing right, I won't beat you with a bag of oranges.
You be nice to her.
Don't eat or drink anything that he gives you, okay?
(EX CLAIMS)
Don't be silly. Betty's on Team Slater now.
There will be no drugging of you.
Okay, seriously, you can't touch my nose anymore.
I don't understand. A hold up?
I thought his immigration papers were going through this week.
I'm sorry, Mr. Meade.
Your son's grandparents in France filed a claim for custody.
No, no, no. I... Look, I talked to them already. They agreed...
Well, I guess they changed their minds. They want him home.
Well, he is home. I'm his father!
Look, you have to do something about this.
The State Department has to be able to do...
Your family connections at the State can help expedite immigration,
but they filed a claim in court.
This could turn into a real custody battle.
Daniel Jr. Iost his mother. He's not gonna lose his father, too.
These things can get ugly.
(SCOFFING)
Your son is 13 years old.
Maybe before you get involved in a big legal battle,
you should ask him what he wants to do.
Don't interrupt, be invisible, and if Penelope del Rios asks,
you're a huge fan of her cosmetics, you can't live without them.
- I don't wear del Rios' cosmetics. - Hold on.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(EX CLAIMS IN DISGUST)
Yes, you do!
WILHELMINA: Take a look, Penelope. I think you'll agree
the new Mode is more upscale, more chic, exactly your demographic.
You'll kick yourself if you don't take another two pages.
Yes, but we've been advertising in Mode for two years now,
and there's been no uptick in our sales.
I see no reason to spend more money.
No, that's for...
- Enjoy. - Thank you, Betty.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Not so fast. Tell me, Betty,
do you use my cosmetics?
No.
I'm... I can't afford them. Sorry.
I do! I'd rather starve than go without your night cream.
We are coming out with a budget line, you know.
Really? Well, you should advertise that in Mode.
(PENELOPE SCOFFS)
I very much doubt the del Rios budget customers
are poring through the high-end pages of Mode.
BETTY: They totally do!
My sister, she has a salon in Queens, and all those women love Mode.
It's all they talk about, all day long, Mode.
They just can't afford anything in it.
(EX CLAIMING IN SURPRISE)
Isn't that interesting? I think we just found a way to sell your new line.
This is good. I came in saying no, I leave saying
yes.
Can you believe it? My first day here and I help sell!
Did you flip your wig? I told you to be invisible.
She asked me a question, and I was helpful.
Don't you get it? Wilhelmina doesn't need help!
You never outshine the queen!
Yeah, well, she landed a major advertiser,
and by the way, Wilhelmina totally smiled at me.
She wasn't smiling. She was showing her teeth.
Betty! In my office, now.
Wilhelmina.
I just want to apologize if I spoke out of turn in your meeting.
(SHUSHING)
I need some things for the launch party.
Run to Dior. Luke created a signature perfume for me.
Bee pollen. Make sure it's African.
I need some cleansing milk from Diane Bouchet.
I also need the tiara that Catherine the Great
wore at her wedding to Peter III.
It's part of the permanent collection of the Museum of Russian Antiquities.
- I want to wear it to my party. - But do they even...
(SHUSHING)
- Could you give me a hint as to... - Shh...
Seriously, Wilhelmina, how am I...
By the end of the day.
Mmm-hmm.
Come on, right here! Come on!
Yeah, all right! It's coming. Oh, no!
God, you're getting good at this, aren't you? Are you having fun?
Oui, good time.
Well, I figured since you had to start school tomorrow,
we might get in one more day of hooky.
Hooky? Like a prostitute?
(CHUCKLES)
No, no! No prostitutes!
Only when you're older. I mean, not at all, Son.
No, I just thought we'd talk, you know, about important stuff.
So, you... You have grandparents back in France.
Do you miss them?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
I love them very much.
Maybe we can visit?
Yeah. Yep. Sure.
(SIGHS)
You don't want to talk more?
Nah. You know what? I think that's enough talking. Come on.
I don't get it. I totally helped her on that del Rios account,
and now it's like she's trying to torture me with a tiara.
It's like she wants me to quit. What's the worst she could do?
Well, they say she once beat an assistant with a car antenna,
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
but I think it's just a myth.
God, no, Stuart.
- What? What's wrong? - I think he's doing drugs again.
What? Oh, my God, Christina...
I took this from his stuff.
(EX CLAIMING IN DISGUST)
It's gross! Put it away! That's disgusting,
but I don't think it means he's doing drugs.
I know, but it can tell me if he is. I sent some hair samples to a lab.
Well, what can I do to help you?
I need you at Mode, Betty. You're the only ally I've got there.
So, please, just don't get fired.
(SIGHS)
Well, I can try.
GUARD: Miss, I need you to stand back, please.
Miss!
(EX CLAIMING)
I'm sorry. Actually, I was wondering, who do I talk to about renting this tiara?
(LAUGHING)
I mean, you don't have to laugh. I can't be the first person to ask that question.
Is there somebody else I can talk to?
I know it's a crazy request, but she really, really wants it.
(SIGHS)
You know what? Never mind.
You're probably just going to laugh at me, too. Right? Okay.
(CRYING)
I'm guessing that's a no.
This is my favorite part of the job.
Injecting deadly poison into my boss' head.
Well, it helps that you have really feminine fingers.
It's a blessing.
No luck with Catherine the Great, Betty the Mediocre?
You've been gone a long time.
I know, I'm sorry, I ran into a few troubles.
I had to go to three different stores to get your bee pollen, but I got it.
And your cleansing milk cost over $600,
so I had to call accounting first for authorization.
- Where's the tiara? - I don't have it.
(SCOFFING)
But they do.
Turns out the curator's boyfriend dumped her
just because she gained a little bit of weight due to an underactive thyroid.
I know, it's so sad. So, I just sat with her for like an hour,
and I think that's all she needed
was someone to talk to, you know? To listen.
Are we to understand that you got the tiara by being nice to someone?
Well, no. Not exactly.
We also have to give the museum a full-page ad in next month's issue,
but I already talked to ad sales, and we worked out a barter agreement.
We give them ad space, they give you the tiara for 48 hours,
and also, Ed and Andy have to be within 20 feet of the tiara at all times.
If you ask me, it's just beginner's luck. I mean...
Marc, take off your gloves. Betty will be doing my Botox today.
Um...
Don't you think a doctor should do this
or at least a nurse practitioner?
I'm so numb up there, I wouldn't know if you hit bone.
Betty, do you know why I hired you?
To help with your files?
I always suspected you were the brains behind Daniel Meade.
Well, no. That's just... That's not true. Daniel is very smart...
Yes, yes, yes, smart as a whip, but let's talk about you for a moment.
Betty, you passed the test.
So, the tiara thing, that was a test?
Because I thought that it was some sort of punishment
for speaking up in your meeting.
On the contrary, I was very, very impressed.
And it made me think that maybe you were the one.
Like Lord of the Rings?
Betty, there's only been one other person
who's been able to get that tiara, me.
When I was Fey Sommers' assistant,
she wanted that tiara for her launch party of her first issue,
and I did it.
Of course, my methods were a little less wholesome than yours,
but I proved to her that, given a seemingly impossible task,
I could accomplish it.
So?
Betty, you've proved that you have rare potential.
That must be cultivated.
I am going to groom you,
and, Lord knows, you need some grooming.
You will be my protégé, and you will start with taking over my launch party.
- But that's Marc's job. - And now it's yours.
Betty, I'm offering you a future.
After being my assistant, you could write your own ticket in this town.
And who knows? Maybe you'll be the next Wilhelmina Slater.
(EXHALING)
Marc, look, I'm hoping...
I would rather eat butter!
I haven't even asked you to do anything yet.
You bossing me around is a crime against nature.
- Marc, you're being ridiculous. - Sorceress!
You've taken away from me everything that matters.
Marc, look,
(EX CLAIMS)
I didn't try and take your job from you, and I'm so sorry about this,
but I have to try and make a launch party happen in less than 27 hours
and there is no way that I could do it without you.
No.
So if you could please, please, please try and help me
find a life-sized, anatomically-correct black vodka ice sculpture
of you-know-who.
And then she just waddles back in here like a helpless brown Weeble,
and while I'm not looking, plunges my world into darkness.
Poor baby. Come here.
(SIN GIN G) Hush, little homo, don't you cry
Mandy's gonna steal you a Prada tie
You're nice, but don't touch the hair. It's just how I like it.
Okay.
Hi, I'm looking for Betty Suarez.
Hi, I'm Betty Suarez.
Don't be absurd. I'm Betty Suarez. How can I help you?
Yeah, can you guys just page her for me? Is that...
Tony! Tony.
- Hi. - Hey.
Sorry about them.
No, no, it's okay. Is this a good time to get that signed copy?
Right. I'll go down to Player and get it. You wait here.
- Just maybe not so close to them. - Yeah.
- Here you go. - Very cool.
(MOANING)
Did you see that Super Bowl?
If I say yes, will you take your shirt off?
Okay, and thanks for coming, Tony.
Will you tell Hilda that I'll call her later today?
- Yeah. Thanks. - Bye.
Whoa!
I need Mr. Sugar-Pants-Bedroom-Eyes' number.
Tony? No. I'm not giving you his phone number.
I need to see him again to give him his phone which he accidentally left here
when it fell out of his pocket into my hand.
Wait a second, you pick-pocketed Coach Diaz?
I was in a trance. I barely remember what happened.
But these pictures of him kissing that slutty stewardess
are really dulling my tingle.
My sister is not a stewardess.
But it has to be delivered at 8:00 p.m. sharp,
because it's an ice sculpture and I don't want it to melt.
Don't mind me, I took a train for a half hour from Queens
to eat soggy dumplings by myself and watch you talk.
Okay, I'll call you back in the morning. Thank you.
Hilda, I'm sorry.
I have this launch party tomorrow. It's driving me crazy.
Okay, so I heard Tony was sexually harassed by your coworkers.
Yeah, that happens a lot in that place.
Before I forget, you have his cell phone?
Right, okay, so, Hilda, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. Um...
Oh, God, this is... This is hard.
So I saw some photos on Tony's phone of him and another woman.
Are you okay? I'm so sorry, Hilda. Say something.
It's his wife.
What? They're, like, separated?
Well, you know, it's complicated.
What, you're dating a married man?
See? This is why I don't tell you things, because you judge.
Yeah, because, Hilda, that would be wrong!
Well, I didn't know that he was married when we started dating, and then...
Hilda, what are you thinking?
You have to get out of this! This is just gonna end bad.
Who says it's gonna end? We're gonna make it work.
Look, can't you just be happy for me?
No! He has a wife.
You think I don't know that? You think that doesn't tear me up?
- Well, then walk away! - I can't!
(SCOFFING)
I'm in love with him!
I'm not hungry anymore.
Like I said, remember not to get too hung up on any one girl.
You're young. You gotta play the field.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
And listen in class, okay? It's what I told you.
Écoutez le teacher.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Papa, your French is, how you say, "sucky."
Just have a good day.
(SIGHING)
You're a natural father.
Am I being selfish?
His grandparents want him back in France. I know he misses them.
Well, he can miss them and still want to be here with his father.
He's in a foreign country. He's away from everything he knows, everyone.
Don't you think he'd be happier with them?
It doesn't really matter what I think, does it?
(SIGHS)
I know. I have to ask him.
I'm just afraid I'm not going to get the answer I want.
I don't want to lose him.
Where do you want this ice sculpture?
No, no, no, this can't be here right now. The party isn't until tonight. She'll melt.
Emily! Can you please take these guys down to the Italian restaurant
and beg them to let us use their walk-in?
I don't care if you have to buy every pizza in the place.
Just hurry. We don't want her to start sagging.
Guys, seriously, can you stop goofing around?
You know how Wilhelmina gets.
- (IN HIGH VOICE) How does she get? - (IN HIGH VOICE) Tell us.
- Yeah, tell us. - Tell us.
Little Miss Thing here has been working for Wilhelmina
for half a minute, and now she's all up in her gooch.
I have been up all night working on this party,
and there are still a million things that we have to do.
A million and one, actually.
Wilhelmina wants you to shred all this old mail into confetti.
- I'm busy. Can you do it? - Let me think. No.
Just because you're running this party doesn't mean you can boss me around.
And you may be in Wilhelmina's good graces today,
but that doesn't mean anything about tomorrow.
Loyalty is not one of Wilhelmina's strong suits.
But, you know, I guess it isn't one of yours, either.
What? I am loyal.
Really? Is that why you dumped Daniel
the second he got in the way of your career ambitions?
I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
That's exactly what Wilhelmina would've done.
You two are a lot more alike than I thought.
Happy shredding.
WILHELMINA: Betty, you've proved that you have rare potential.
DANIEL: Work for Wilhelmina, be my guest.
WILHELMINA: Maybe you were the one.
DANIEL: If you think you'll be so much happier working for Wilhelmina, go!
MARC: You two are a lot more alike than I thought.
WILHELMINA: I'm so numb up there, I wouldn't know if you hit bone.
- There you are, Madam Editrix. - Thank you, Marc.
Now be a dear and go fetch me some carrot shavings.
I'm feeling snack-ish.
What the hell are you all staring at?
Don't you have some work to screw up?
Look at me when I'm yelling at you! Don't look at me!
You, go fix your teeth! You, stop eating that donut!
You, lose 10 pounds!
You're fired. You're fired. You're all fired!
Hi, Betty, it's Daniel. Remember? We used to work together.
- No time. - No, no, no. Betty, I just wanted...
- Security! - No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait!
No! I just wanted to ask you a question! Please!
(PUPPY BARKING)
What the hell is that?
(BALLOON POPPING)
Not the puppy!
Well, big date with the coach tonight?
Mmm-hmm.
Not wearing that. Mom, leopard and zebra?
They fight each other in the wild! You'll never survive the evening.
I think she looks beautiful. And you know why? She's happy.
Well, I'm not. Look, work with me here. This is what I do.
- Okay. Thank you. - You're welcome.
- And thank you, papi. - You deserve this, mi hija.
Yeah. Yeah.
I do.
Okay, I know you're tired of me saying this, but I have to.
You are wasting your time and your talent at Player.
You are a good editor.
- Betty... - I'm not finished.
You belong at Mode, Daniel.
It is the most important magazine at this company. Your family's company.
You were good at your job,
and if you don't believe me, then read these.
Wilhelmina had somebody hide all the positive letters to the editor
when you were in charge. She was going to have me shred them!
- They're all positive? - All of them, and there are tons!
Your June cover, the one that she said was a pimple on the butt of fashion...
- Well, she said that? - Not the point! These people loved it.
And "Mode Girl on Madison,"
some of these people said they subscribe just for that.
Daniel, you have to show these to Alexis.
- Come on, she doesn't care about me. - She cares about Mode.
Yeah, okay, look. I really appreciate what you're doing.
And, yes, of course I want to be back at Mode.
Why do you think I got so mad at you, Betty?
Because you're there reminding me of that, every single day.
Wilhelmina won. I lost. It's over.
Daniel, anything you truly want has to be worth fighting for.
You used me! You just wanted the money to buy drugs!
- Christina, that's not true! - I think it is,
because I had a piece of your hair tested.
What?
They found OxyContin, heroin...
It's like Rush Limbaugh fornicated with Amy Winehouse
and they spawned you!
- You had me tested? - Yes, I did!
Why, have you got a problem with that?
You don't understand. Now just...
Just get your hands off me!
I swear to God, I am this close to calling immigration
and having you deported.
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
Aye, right.
What? You don't think I would do it? Just you watch me.
(DJ PLAYING GUITAR HERO)
Yes! Papa, look, I made it to the next level.
(SIGHS)
Hey, could you come here for a second?
There's something I want to ask you. It's important.
Okay, so your grandparents want you to come live with them in France.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
I want you to live here with me.
Look, I guess...
I guess what's most important here is what do you want?
You are my father, and I want to stay with my father.
Okay. Great, good.
So, we'll stay together, and... And we're gonna fight for that.
Come on, let's see how good you are.
WILHELMINA: Did you get a drink?
Are you having fun?
Betty, you've really outdone yourself. This party is beautiful.
You're not wearing the tiara.
God, no!
I'm the Editor-in-Chief of a fashion magazine.
I wouldn't be caught dead in a tiara!
Right. Of course you wouldn't.
Well, this is for you.
It's my two weeks' notice.
I thought I could work for you, but I can't.
I do want to be successful, just not by hurting people.
(EX CLAIMS)
I really misjudged you, Betty.
Under those gaping pores and caveman eyebrows,
I thought you were smart.
You think life is all about who's right and who's wrong,
but history is written by those who win, not by those who are the nicest.
Enjoy your party.
Betty, why don't you stay?
This party is about to get very interesting.
- CO ACH: Hello? - Hey, Tony.
Are you here yet? Because I don't see you.
Hey, Bobby, sorry I didn't call you back.
I had a family thing come up.
She didn't go out of town? You're not coming?
Yeah, that's right. Can I follow up with you tomorrow?
Is she there with you now?
Sure, sounds good. All right, we'll talk tomorrow.
Honestly, Alexis, if this is about a bunch of ridiculous letters,
- I can assure you... - This isn't just about the letters.
I'm not happy with the magazine. I think your cover is cold.
Well, I had a very specific vision. I didn't expect you to understand it.
Well, I guess it was lost on a few other people, too.
Your first-day sales numbers are in.
And they're not good.
Impossible!
Your re-launch of Mode is our lowest-selling issue in months.
While you're valued here as our creative director,
I've made a decision. If you'll excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen, if I can have your attention...
I'm happy to announce that, tonight, we are welcoming back,
as Editor-in-Chief of Mode magazine, Daniel Meade!
Betty.
Marc.
Well, here we are, as if nothing's changed.
You left those letters for me, didn't you?
You planned this whole thing so that I would be back with Daniel
and you could have Wilhelmina all to yourself.
Don't be absurd.
I would never do anything to hurt Wilhelmina's interests,
unless they're hurting mine.
Don't forget, I still own a third of this company.
Your unborn child owns a third of this company, not you!
You would be nothing without that baby.
But don't worry, you're still our creative director.
Yeah, I'm more than happy to have you come work for me.
You can't push me aside.
Really?
(GUESTS GASPING)
You are gonna regret this, I swear.
Don't you ever threaten my children, Wilhelmina.
You have no idea the lengths I will go to protect them.
- Daniel, I'm sorry... - Betty, I never wanted you to leave.
...I would ever even consider working for that...
Me first. Please.
Thank you for having faith in me.
That's what friends are for.
You're coming back, right?
Well, that depends on whether or not
I can keep the raise Wilhelmina gave me.
Wow, wow. Talk about using your moment of leverage.
It's good to have you back, Daniel.
It's good to be back.
Now seriously, about the raise, you know, once you go there,
- you can't really go back. - Really?
(SCREAMING)